Below you will find the devotional entry that birthed this blog. It is from My Utmost For His Highest. The thought that struck me was "It is God who engineers our circumstances, and whatever they may be we must see that we face them while continually abiding with Him in His temptations." It caused me to think of shucking off my worries and fears and the things I'm holding onto that won't matter in eternity. Such as, worrying that I don't spend enough time with Lilyana because I have to work, will that absence affect her in a way that will cause her emotional turbulance? The fear of not having enough money to keep our house. What do we do about the foreclosure notice? What is our next step? And am I holding onto this house because of the fear of the unknown and/or the fear of what people might say?
I need to figure out how to make the time I spend with Lilyana as worry free and fear free as possible so that she's getting all of me at that time and knowing she is my focus.
I need to seek God's guidance for the answer to the house circumstance. How is/will He enginer our house circumstance and I best be ready to go on with Jesus no matter what.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Scrapbook, the Bible and my pantry
I finally finished (I think) the scrapbook for Lilyana's first year. If you're not my friend on FB here's a link to the finished product http://app.picaboo.com/WebView/Project.aspx?clientID=cbf4caac9311ce586d8a355d9f685390&version=39844&siteID=FB-ViaPreview. Hopefully there aren't any typos. Order is due by Tuesday. I wonder how many times I can proof it before I order it.
I've also decided to do the Bible in 90 days (www.biblein90days.org). I need you to hold me accountable on this. Ask me every day how I'm doing. I've never read the Bible through cover to cover. I'm guessing in all my 44 plus years I've probably read most every verse at least once between Sunday School, VBS, BSF, Bible School and church services. I start with Genesis 1:1 through 16:16 tonight as soon as I finish listening to the weekly message.
Tuesday I start work on the pantry. My goal for Tuesday is to get it all emptied into an organized fashion. Then next weekend (Labor Day weekend) will wipe it clean, paint it, put some flooring material in and put some misc. shelving material up. The idea is to use materials that are available at our house right now so it won't be an expense for us. Wish me luck.
Have a good night and hopefully your week is blessed and positive.
I've also decided to do the Bible in 90 days (www.biblein90days.org). I need you to hold me accountable on this. Ask me every day how I'm doing. I've never read the Bible through cover to cover. I'm guessing in all my 44 plus years I've probably read most every verse at least once between Sunday School, VBS, BSF, Bible School and church services. I start with Genesis 1:1 through 16:16 tonight as soon as I finish listening to the weekly message.
Tuesday I start work on the pantry. My goal for Tuesday is to get it all emptied into an organized fashion. Then next weekend (Labor Day weekend) will wipe it clean, paint it, put some flooring material in and put some misc. shelving material up. The idea is to use materials that are available at our house right now so it won't be an expense for us. Wish me luck.
Have a good night and hopefully your week is blessed and positive.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Nothing Will Separate Me From My Nap
Well, today didn't really go according to plan. The Plan was to get up around 9, get ready and head to Walmart in Hutch where there was a Dora the Explorer birthday bash with free cupcakes and pictures. Since I need to do more errands in Hutch I figured we could take advantage of that occasion even though I had images of children everywhere like ants crawling all over the place.
Well the first part of The Plan went awry when we slept until almost 10. After a very huge disappointment, breakfast, shower, finishing up lists, etc. we were headed off. The next part of The Altered Plan was when we were halfway to Glencoe and discovered we didn't have the diaper bag. So we turned around, picked up the diaper bag and headed back out. Finally we reached Hutch.
After walking through the store we found a stand where apparently the Dora occasion had been. No people only napkins, coupons for free photos and merchandise. We picked up a coupon and decided it was okay since Lilyana doesn't really know who Dora is so she wasn't disappointed. Because I was disorganized we walked back and forth across the store several times to get the things on my list. We finished our shopping and went to the checkout. When all was said and done we got more than $30 of merchandise for $.40 which doesn't include the mail-in rebates I have to send in.
Then we stopped at Subway for lunch. I usually get my sandwich with only bread, meat, cheese, lettuce and sauce. I decided to get a footlong to share with Lilyana and load up on vegetables since she will eat almost any vegetable. Dan was waiting my body to convulse watching them load up my sandwiches with veggies. We ate lunch and decided to change the diaper before we left. I went to take off with Lilyana while Dan cleaned up our lunch. But she wasn't having any of that. She's been very clingy since Dan's been back (all of 24 hours). Even when in Walmart she didn't want us to separate.
So we cleaned up lunch, discovered she had leaked and walked to the back of the store to use the family restroom all the time Dan carrying her with her wet shorts. Changing her diaper in a public restroom is a torturous experience. For some reason and from my knowledge no experience, she doesn't like the changing tables hanging off the wall. She will scream and grip to keep from having to lay on them. So it took both of us to change her. And we left Walmart.
We went to Menards, purchased $60 on merchandise with $30 in rebates and a grape sucker for Lilyana. (Yes, I know it's store credit but that's where we get our softener salt among other house repair items so it's just like cash anyway.) We were leaving Hutch about 2:30 (90 minutes past the beginning of nap time). Lilyana lasted until about 3 miles from home before she nodded off. We had thought that we could pull her out the van and and lay her down. She cried after Dan laid her down and we laid down for a little bit before deciding that she wasn't going to settle down. We finally put her in bed with us but she never did settle down.
So now we're up, relaxing a little and letting it cool down before doing some outside chores. Maybe when we're done watching Lyle the Kindly Viking (I know it should probably be underlined but I couldn't find the underline button).
If you've made it this far, congratulations, you really do love me to have read all that.
Oh, and the title, nothing will separate me from my nap tomorrow. I am very protective of nap time for both me and Lilyana. Since I didn't get one today I need one tomorrow since I have to work Monday.
Hope you're having a great weekend.
Well the first part of The Plan went awry when we slept until almost 10. After a very huge disappointment, breakfast, shower, finishing up lists, etc. we were headed off. The next part of The Altered Plan was when we were halfway to Glencoe and discovered we didn't have the diaper bag. So we turned around, picked up the diaper bag and headed back out. Finally we reached Hutch.
After walking through the store we found a stand where apparently the Dora occasion had been. No people only napkins, coupons for free photos and merchandise. We picked up a coupon and decided it was okay since Lilyana doesn't really know who Dora is so she wasn't disappointed. Because I was disorganized we walked back and forth across the store several times to get the things on my list. We finished our shopping and went to the checkout. When all was said and done we got more than $30 of merchandise for $.40 which doesn't include the mail-in rebates I have to send in.
Then we stopped at Subway for lunch. I usually get my sandwich with only bread, meat, cheese, lettuce and sauce. I decided to get a footlong to share with Lilyana and load up on vegetables since she will eat almost any vegetable. Dan was waiting my body to convulse watching them load up my sandwiches with veggies. We ate lunch and decided to change the diaper before we left. I went to take off with Lilyana while Dan cleaned up our lunch. But she wasn't having any of that. She's been very clingy since Dan's been back (all of 24 hours). Even when in Walmart she didn't want us to separate.
So we cleaned up lunch, discovered she had leaked and walked to the back of the store to use the family restroom all the time Dan carrying her with her wet shorts. Changing her diaper in a public restroom is a torturous experience. For some reason and from my knowledge no experience, she doesn't like the changing tables hanging off the wall. She will scream and grip to keep from having to lay on them. So it took both of us to change her. And we left Walmart.
We went to Menards, purchased $60 on merchandise with $30 in rebates and a grape sucker for Lilyana. (Yes, I know it's store credit but that's where we get our softener salt among other house repair items so it's just like cash anyway.) We were leaving Hutch about 2:30 (90 minutes past the beginning of nap time). Lilyana lasted until about 3 miles from home before she nodded off. We had thought that we could pull her out the van and and lay her down. She cried after Dan laid her down and we laid down for a little bit before deciding that she wasn't going to settle down. We finally put her in bed with us but she never did settle down.
So now we're up, relaxing a little and letting it cool down before doing some outside chores. Maybe when we're done watching Lyle the Kindly Viking (I know it should probably be underlined but I couldn't find the underline button).
If you've made it this far, congratulations, you really do love me to have read all that.
Oh, and the title, nothing will separate me from my nap tomorrow. I am very protective of nap time for both me and Lilyana. Since I didn't get one today I need one tomorrow since I have to work Monday.
Hope you're having a great weekend.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Middle of the night thoughts
For some reason I can't sleep tonight. Maybe I don't want to sleep because I know in about 12 hours or so I'll be saying goodbye to my precious little girl for another week. I am sad about that even though I know she's in good hands. I will miss her terribly. Maybe I can't sleep because I'm not sure if I'll see my precious older daughter and grandson tomorrow. And if I do it won't be for long. Or maybe I can't sleep because of the unknown decision that will be made for our son.
Sometimes I feel like a failure as a parent. I have a daughter and grandson I don't get to see very often and wonder if I could have done things differently so that she would want to live closer than she does. I have a son, although not legally mine anymore, who is going through some trials right now and I cannot be there for him. And I have a toddler who I feel sad for sometimes that we are her parents. We are old and tired and wish that we could give her a better life.
It's going to be a long, lonely week.
Sometimes I feel like a failure as a parent. I have a daughter and grandson I don't get to see very often and wonder if I could have done things differently so that she would want to live closer than she does. I have a son, although not legally mine anymore, who is going through some trials right now and I cannot be there for him. And I have a toddler who I feel sad for sometimes that we are her parents. We are old and tired and wish that we could give her a better life.
It's going to be a long, lonely week.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
The Fair and Fruity People
Lilyana and I made the maiden voyage for us to the Sibley County Fair. Today is the first day and they had rides for $1 tonight. It was nothing to write home about. I grew up in a small town with a county fair that was small but this gave small a new definition. As I walked around I looked to find a ride suitable for a toddler out of the six that were there. I saw the Kiddie Coaster and the rest seemed too fast for her. The lady at the ticket booth suggested she might be able to go on the swings. I firmly said no. I get sick on the swings. So after looking at all the animals I bought two tickets and she rode the Kiddie Coaster. She had a blast. The good thing was that we went early and so there was hardly anyone there. But the second time she went on the ride alone. We were ready to leave after about an hour.
After we left the fair we went to the store and I got about 8 pounds of grapes. We both love grapes and if we get sick of them we'll freeze them. We have quite a bit of fruit here in the house now. My mom sent a bunch of peaches back with me and I bought bananas earlier in the week. So we are fruity people.
By the way, I have plenty of cucumbers and tomatoes if anyone wants any. Just let me know.
After we left the fair we went to the store and I got about 8 pounds of grapes. We both love grapes and if we get sick of them we'll freeze them. We have quite a bit of fruit here in the house now. My mom sent a bunch of peaches back with me and I bought bananas earlier in the week. So we are fruity people.
By the way, I have plenty of cucumbers and tomatoes if anyone wants any. Just let me know.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
My Custody Weekend and Pickle Recipe
Dan left for California last Sunday and will be there for about a month helping his brother with his house. While he's gone I still have to go to work so my parents have been watching Lilyana on the days I work. I jokingly refer to the time I have her on the weekends as my custody time because we have to arrange pick up and drop off locations for her.
So I worked last week Tuesday through Friday. My parents were scheduled to bring her home on Saturday morning. I was in bed on Saturday when I heard the doorbell ring. Even though we have a doorbell, rarely does anyone ring it. They just knock and in our house, unless we're in the kitchen, we don' t hear knocking. So I was surprised and wondered if it was my parents or a friend of Dan's who does ring it. I deduced that it wasn't his friend based on the rhythm and as I was climbing the stairs I saw the time was 7:30 am so I knew it wasn't my parents. I get to the door, dressed only in a long t-shirt, and a man is standing there. I open the door a crack and he says that one of our barn cats has a jar on its head. So I thank him and go back and put pants on and go out and pull the cat out of the peanut butter container. The cat is fine and it's not the first time one of our cats has gotten something stuck on its head while trying to lick the last remnants out of a jar or can. We just don't have very smart cats.
My parents arrived about 10:45 am and we spent the day pulling weeds, picking vegetables and getting green beans ready for canning. Calsey arrived about 6:00 pm giving my parents about 30 minutes to visit with her. By the time everyone left and it was just Lilyana and me I was exhausted.
Tomorrow (Monday) I will meet my parents in New Prague and hand Lilyana off to them for another four days, thus ending my custody weekend.
Here's the pickle recipe from my mom with which I am preserving my tons of cucumbers.
6 cups cucumbers
2 cups sugar
1 cup vinegar
2 tablespoons salt
Mix the sugar, vinegar and salt together until the sugar is dissolved. Pour over cucumbers. Pour into jars. They will keep for 9-12 months.
So I worked last week Tuesday through Friday. My parents were scheduled to bring her home on Saturday morning. I was in bed on Saturday when I heard the doorbell ring. Even though we have a doorbell, rarely does anyone ring it. They just knock and in our house, unless we're in the kitchen, we don' t hear knocking. So I was surprised and wondered if it was my parents or a friend of Dan's who does ring it. I deduced that it wasn't his friend based on the rhythm and as I was climbing the stairs I saw the time was 7:30 am so I knew it wasn't my parents. I get to the door, dressed only in a long t-shirt, and a man is standing there. I open the door a crack and he says that one of our barn cats has a jar on its head. So I thank him and go back and put pants on and go out and pull the cat out of the peanut butter container. The cat is fine and it's not the first time one of our cats has gotten something stuck on its head while trying to lick the last remnants out of a jar or can. We just don't have very smart cats.
My parents arrived about 10:45 am and we spent the day pulling weeds, picking vegetables and getting green beans ready for canning. Calsey arrived about 6:00 pm giving my parents about 30 minutes to visit with her. By the time everyone left and it was just Lilyana and me I was exhausted.
Tomorrow (Monday) I will meet my parents in New Prague and hand Lilyana off to them for another four days, thus ending my custody weekend.
Here's the pickle recipe from my mom with which I am preserving my tons of cucumbers.
6 cups cucumbers
2 cups sugar
1 cup vinegar
2 tablespoons salt
Mix the sugar, vinegar and salt together until the sugar is dissolved. Pour over cucumbers. Pour into jars. They will keep for 9-12 months.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Identity
On our way to Zumbrota we stopped in New Prague for Dan to discuss some work with a potential client. He dropped Lilyana and I off at the park. As I looked around I realized I am a fish out of water. All I saw were latte drinking, cellphone toting, sun worshipping moms with kids dressed to the nines in playclothes. It got me realizing that I don't really fit into any group. I'm about 15 years old than most moms with toddlers. The moms my age have teenagers in youth group and I am no longer a youth group mom. And I am about 15 years younger than your average grandma. I guess I'll start a new group. Lazy moms who let their kids out of the house with their shirt on inside out. And, yes, I put the shirt on.
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