Sunday, March 28, 2010

A Good Sunday

After not sleeping at all last night we decided to go to early service today. Normally that is not something we do since it is very difficult for me to get up before 8 am and Lilyana normally doesn't wake up until 9 am. But we were all awake and went to early service.

After church we headed to Mankato as I wanted to go to a few places where I could practice my couponing. We stopped first at Michaels. I didn't get anything there, just did some browsing. Oh, I take that back. I bought a princess disney paddle ball for Lilyana for .54. Then we went on to Walgreens. I spent about $10 which included $4 in coupons. Next was Aldi where I purchased a pineapple and two bags of salad greens for under $3. Next on to Walmart. I got Calsey some mascara (free) and a Banquet family sized entree (free after rebate). Dan was the big spender with oil. Last but not least was Target. We had a $10 gift card from transferring a prescription and spent all but .30. That transaction included free toothpaste for Lilyana.

For a special treat we stopped at the merry go round in the mall. I went on it with Lilyana while Dan took pictures. She didn't want to hold on to the pole so she hung onto my fingers with a death grip. But she had a good time. We finally arrived home around 3:30 and Dan put her in bed as she had fallen asleep home.

On the ride home we drove by a levi keeping the water off the road. We saw where the water was above the road to LeSueur. We were going the opposite direction so it didn't keep us from our route. That was an alternate route for us since we couldn't go through Henderson which is at the bottom of the valley and has two roads flooded.

After we got home it was work, dinner, play outside. All in all it was a very nice Sunday.

Sunday, March 21, 2010


So one of Lilyana's new bathtime games is laying on her stomach and drinking the water ... with or without soap, she is not picky. We gave her a bath tonight and she started by taking every toy, one at a time, out of the toy bucket and putting it in the tub. Then it was time to get undressed and put in the tub. As Dan was washing her hair she decided to stand up and stomp her feet to splash water. That is new and was not very much for Dan as he was getting water in his eyes. Then she picked up her cup to pour water but the toy she pours water into (it's a small plastic "amusement park" for small plastic animals where you can pour water into a cup and it will turn the wheel) isn't in the tub. She stands up, looks around and spots it. She then points to it and we get it and suction it to the tub wall for her. Now her bath is complete and ready to enjoy.

I wanted to get a picture but couldn't find the camera. It seems it's used to take pictures of engine parts, etc. as much as it is to take pictures of Lilyana.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Catching up

Well, it looks like it's been a while since I wrote anything. There hasn't been much of anything to write lately. We went to Zumbrota for the weekend and came back to a "lake" on the field to the north and a wet basement. The sump pump is acting up.

I went to Bible Study last night. I was pretty tired and angry. I had been with Lilyana all day alone and just needed a break. Then I got the van stuck. But the Bible study was about joy and remembering what God has done for us and finding joy in that. Perspective.

Calsey was home for a week. It was great to have her here even though we didn't see her much. She seemed happy to be here and our relationship seems to be really good.

I'm sorry this isn't very interesting. I'll try to get back into the groove and hopefully post something more interesting.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Something New

So my goal is to post something each day that I did or happened to us just to keep a running journal of every day from here on of Lilyana's life. I wish I'd started this from the day she was born. But at least she'll have this.

She and I did pretty much nothing today. Dan came home for lunch and I laid down for a nap before Lilyana. Dan had guitar lesson at 5:15 but he didn't come in in time for me to take a shower for Bible study at 7 so I took one when he got home about 6:25. Needless to say I was late for Bible study. I didn't get home until 10:30 because I sat in the van and chatted with my friend Deb. Lilyana was already in bed but I think I must have woken her up when I came in the house. She started fussing and I went and picked her up. She was up until 11:30.

Nothing really exciting happened but at least this way I hope not to miss when something exciting happens. My uncle has always kept a record of things that happened every day so if someone wants to know the date of when something happened, we could always ask him.

Good night.

Title Explanation

I thought I'd explain how the title came to be. Right now in my life I feel like I am just hanging on by my fingernails. I have dug them in to keep me from falling and it is very painful. But I endure the pain for Lilyana. I will hang on as long as I can so that she has what she needs to be a successful adult. Sometimes a nail starts to break and I figure another way to keep it on. But there could come a day when I will not be able to endure the pain anymore and I will fall. I hope it is not at a point where she needs me most but I cannot predict it. Maybe at some point someone will come along and see me there and pull me up. But for right now I am hanging on ....

Tribute to Mothers

I wrote this post one morning when I was thinking about the roles of Calsey's moms in her life.

One of the definitions of mother according to is "something or someone that gives rise to or exercises protecting care over something else." How many people can say they have three women that meet that definition? Well, Calsey can. Let me tell you about her three mothers.

Cari is Calsey's biological mother. Cari gave Calsey the greatest gift ever -- LIFE. I think that meets the definition of exercising protection. Cari also taught Calsey to love children and learn how to take care of them as Calsey looked after her younger brothers and sister. Cari also taught Calsey to like many fruits and vegetables. Calsey is less picky about vegetables than I am. Thank you, Cari, for giving Calsey life and the things you taught her when she was in your care.

Shelley is Calsey's foster mom. She took Calsey in during the time when workers were looking for an adoptive home. Shelley treated Calsey like one of her own with love and chores. Shelley taught Calsey the beginnings of how to trust when Calsey divulged her deepest, darkest secret. Shelley grieved with her and comforted her. And Shelley was with Calsey when she had to tell others, encouraging her and helping her. Shelley was part of another greatest gift ever in Calsey's life -- NEW LIFE. Calsey gave her life to Jesus while in Shelley's care. Shelley bought Calsey a flute and Calsey has become a wonderful flutist. Shelley continued to encourage Calsey's love of children in her three year old daughter Kelsey and her houseful of day care kids. Shelley also showed Calsey what severe Reactive Attachment Disorder looks like in the form a foster daughter whose behavior was beyond out of control. Thank you, Shelley, for taking Calsey to church so she could find Jesus and for letting her take her flute with her when she moved out of your home.

I am Calsey's adoptive mom. In my care Calsey continued her relationship with Jesus by attending Sunday School, quizzing and youth group events. Calsey continued her flute playing and learned to play piano. She is very musically talented. Calsey also learned tap and jazz dance where she is also so very talented. Calsey learned that reading is fun and honed her swimming strokes. Calsey has experienced loss and handled it with grace.

During this time while Calsey is on her way to becoming a mother I wanted to help her by giving her some mothering definitions. Calsey is very blessed to have three mothers who love her and want her to succeed. She is a very special girl and God has some very special plans for her.

Calsey, your mothers love you and will be there for whenever you need us. We will always want the very best for you and your baby. I hope you can take the best of all your mothers and implement them in your mothering.

Thoughts on my first blog

Well, this is my first blog post and it's 2 am. We'll see how this turns out.

Thoughts on my mind include: financial struggle, sleepiness, getting along with my husband and the bible study I need to work on for Monday night.

I have been working really hard with doctors to figure out why I'm tired during the day and awake at night. So far the diagnosis has been depression after many bloods tests and scans to rule out other things. So even though I'm still sleepy during the day I have to go back to work full time this week. I work Wed thru Sat 10:30 am to 9 pm. Most of that is during my bad time. So prayers would be appreciated that I can gt this figured out. I'm considering taking Melatonin.

My husband and I have had disagreements lately about different things. They are very petty but one or the other of us has been in a mood to not be very tolerant of things said or done.

I have a bible study to attend Monday night but another pair of reading glasses bit the dust. Now I have to find the last one so I am able to finish doing the study. If I try it without the glasses I will have a headache.

That's about it for now. Gradually I will add posts that cover more about our lives and what has brought us to the point we're at now.