Summer

My senses came alive as I laid on the trampoline with my baby girl.

The sounds of birds singing, guns shooting, traffic moving.

The smells of canvas, wood smoke

The sights of blue sky, yellow sun, white clouds, green grass

The feel of cool grass, hard rocks

The taste of juicy, messy watermelon.

We'll ignore anything that's not to love about summer.  Today is all about summer fun.

The Relaxing Swing

I have a swing outside where I can put up my feet, tip back my head, close my eyes and relax the stress away.  I call it my relaxing swing.  I also have two companions on my relaxing swing.

One companion likes to relax with me, laying on my lap, sleeping and playing me music.
The other companion likes to move, crawl, kick off people and animals and just generally be the boss of the swing.

I put it off for as long as I can but eventually, even though I crave the stillness, the perpetually in motion four-year-old trumps the still, calm, purring furrball.

May 1

I bet you're all wondering what I was doing 4 years ago today.  I know, you've been waiting and waiting for me to tell you.  Okay, maybe not.

Well, I can tell you I was not leaving little gifts on my neighbors' doorsteps.

I was climbing in and out of the back of a semi at 33 weeks pregnant getting ready for a church garage sale.

I was also getting two ultrasounds and being told by my doctor that we (we?) are cutting at 5:00.

And at 5:10 pm this is what I was doing (they unstrapped my arm so I could touch her).

Yes, four years ago today our surprise miracle blessing was born.  If you don't already know ALL the details because we've told you so many times, just ask me.  I love to tell the story (sounds like a song).

Thank you God for this gift.  I am humbled at trust you have placed in me to raise her.  Because I trust you I know you have great things in store for her life.  May I be faithful in telling her of your love for her so that she may know the joy of knowing you personally.

I love you, my girl.  You make me happy and you are the reason I get out of bed in the morning, literally and figuratively.

Nugget from Proverbs 31

Recently I purchased this Bible study series which was very inexpensive.  I had never heard of Beth Jones but from what I saw on the website it sounded like it would be a good study.

I just listened to the second session last night and wanted to share a nugget with you that jumped out at me.  Now, there were a lot of things that she said that were great.  This one just seemed applicable to me. 

Proverbs 31:10 says "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."  The worth of something is determined by how much someone will pay for that item.  How much am I worth?  How much did someone pay for me?  Jesus paid for me with his life.  What is worth more than that? 

So when I get down and feel like I am a lousy mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, employee, etc. it is with disrespect for the One who paid the ultimate price for me.  If Jesus thinks I'm worth enough to die for then I need to believe it myself.  That is so hard when the pressures of this world make me feel inadequate.

Here's a challenge:  the next time you hear someone, including yourself, feeling unworthy remind them who paid for them and how much He paid.  We need to take back our worth and invest it in the lives of young women today who feel unworthy.

There is so much more I could share about what I watched last night.  I'm a very black and white, concrete person that when I read about the Proverbs 31 woman I read it literally and wonder how I can do all that and be the kind of person she is.  But Beth shared some examples of how else to view this passage and some tangible ways to try to be that kind of person.  It was very powerful and thought-provoking. 

This is one of the best Bible studies I've gone through and am looking forward to finishing the series.  If you'd like to go through it with me,  please let me know.  It would be fun to share it.

God's Presence

Have you seen this quote floating around Facebook and the internet?

"Dear God: Why is there so much violence in schools? 
-A Concerned Student Dear Concerned Student: I'm not allowed in school. -God-"

I can't count the number of times I've seen it and every single time I've been offended but not said anything, just let it go.

I believe that God is --
--omniscient (all knowing)
--omnipotent (all powerful)
--omnipresent (everywhere present) 

If God is everywhere present how can we as mere humans keep God out of school?  It seems that everywhere present means just that ... God is present everywhere including in our schools.

The correct answer to the question of why there is so much violence in our schools is because evil exists in this world and it's the same reason there is tragedy anywhere, anytime in the world.  Remember back in Genesis when Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden?  Sin entered the world at that moment and the free will God had given us from the beginning became open to choosing sin.  

Generational sin began at that moment and we need to stop it.  How do we do that?  PRAY.  As parents we need to ask forgiveness for the sins of our fathers and the fathers before them.  We then need to turn from our sin and show our children the path of righteousness.


We also need to PRAY for healing for our nation.  2 Chronicles 7:14 says "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."  How many of us think that our land DOESN'T need some drastic healing right now?  Our planet is so far away from God that it's no wonder our kids are lost and have no hope.  What is God's promise?  If we fall on our faces, prostrate before God humbly turning away from our sin then he will hear us and forgive our sin and heal our land.  I think we all want that. 

So here's a challenge.  Starting at home, in front of your spouse and children, brothers and sisters and parents, get down in a humble position before God and pray, pray, pray for our kids, teens and young adults after you have turned from your own sin.  They are the ones who are having the hardest time navigating this fallen world.  Then pray for the lost, those who don't know Jesus.  That could be someone in your own home.  Then pray for our leaders.  I think we can all agree that our president and all our government officials need prayer and need God.  There are plenty of people to pray for and plenty of people to pray for them that if we do what 2 Chronicles 7:14 says I think God would keep his promise.

And stop passing the above quote around.  It's offensive to the students and teachers who do pray for God's presence in school to assume that God would listen to those who don't want him there.  I think He's listening to His children.  He is present in our schools.  He allows freedom of will which can perpetrate evil.  But it can also perpetrate good.

Imagination

We have a lot of imagining going on in our house, from Lilyana at least.  My imagination has long since left the building.

A little less than 20 years ago I obtained a handcrafted wooden train engine and two cars.  I imagined nieces and nephews having fun playing with it.  They did during the little time they spent at my house.  Fast forward almost 20 years and 4 or 5 moves.  Lilyana now has an obsession with Thomas the Tank Engine or Thomas and Friends.  She has also found this train set.  She takes it everywhere and I do literally mean everywhere.  To the bathroom.  To bed.  Carries it from room to room with her. She reenacts or makes up stories about Thomas and James and Misty Island and Sodor Island.  And tonight we took some Lincoln Logs and made them Jobi Wood so that she could carry them around and really play the Misty Island episode. 

The only place in the house that it doesn't go is the bathtub.  But never fear the bathtub has it's own characters that she reenacts and makes up stories with.  These creatures are one blue fish and two orange fish.  Anyone care to guess their names?

It is so fun to see her play alone and be imaginative and be able to take a story that she's heard or seen and expand upon it or retell it in her own way. 

Resolutions

Historically I have not been a person who makes resolutions.  Besides weight, I never know what to resolve.  But this last year (2011) I made a resolution.  I thought I had blogged about it but alas could not find a blog post about it.  It was to reduce my dependence on my then current job.  The State of Me gives you a glimpse of my life at this job.  I am happy to report that halfway through the year I was able to completely reduce my dependence on that job and quit and am now happily working two jobs for the same amount of hours and more money.  A resolution that I was able to fulfill.  It feels good.

So I've decided to declare another resolution this year for 2012.  To clean my house and keep it clean.  This one is very overwhelming.  My 10 years of sleep deprivation have gotten me to the point of having no energy to do anything that's not essential which would be taking care of Lilyana and working.  I am working on resolving the sleep issues (so maybe I have more than one resolution this year) and hoping to get the house to a point where I can feel comfortable having people come over.  With which room shall I start?  The office where I spend most of my day?  The dining room because we need to take the tree down anyway?  The kitchen because it really should be clean?  The bathroom because again it really should be clean?  The options are endless.  I'll keep you updated on my progress.

I know my resolutions aren't glamorous.  You won't be seeing me in a bikini this summer.  But they're important to me and make me feel better about myself as a person and as a mother.  Are you making resolutions?  If so, what are they?