Tuesday, November 8, 2011

My Daughter

For some reason I feel compelled to write a tribute to my daughter ... my first daughter ... my daughter who has given me one grandson and soon to be a second.

Calsey has not lived the normal life of a neurotypical child which is one you might give birth to and raise as a typical child.  Calsey has had a difficult childhood of abuse, neglect, forming relationships, etc.  She came into our life when she was 11 with some very serious issues that we attempted to get her help with but the seriousness of the issues and her age combined to make getting the help problematic.  We did the best we could; she did the best she could.  Our relationship was very rocky at times thanks to the lack of training we received. 

But Calsey made it to adulthood (and so did we) and I now have a better relationship with her than when she was a minor living under my roof.

Calsey is doing the best that she can with the resources that she has (emotional, psychological, etc.)  Her rough start in life has followed her through to adulthood.  Calsey is 20 years old and unmarried.  She is the mother of one son and soon to be another.  She has been judged, ridiculed, shamed and all things you can think a girl in her situation might experience from those who might think that her sin is great and she should be ashamed of herself.

I am here as her advocate to say that Calsey has make some unwise choices (as have we all) but none that would remove her from the love of God.  Calsey made a wise decision when she was still in foster care to give her heart to Jesus which means that Jesus doesn't judge her or mock her for the choices she makes.   Jesus loves her and wants what's best for her not criticism and condemnation. 

Her sin (whatever that may be) is no greater than my sin or your sin or anyone else's.  God does not place value on certain actions or behaviors that we might consider sinful. 

Calsey, you are of value ... you have worth ... in my eyes but most importantly in God's eyes.  I love you but God loves you more.  You are more precious than silver or gold.  God made you in his image and he will never let you go.  You are his forever because you made that decision for Christ to come into your heart.  Even though you make choices that aren't wise, God has promised to bring good to those who love him and that includes bringing good from the bad choices, too.

I love you, Calsey.  I hurt when you hurt and it makes me cry.  I continually pray for you.  You know that you can come to me or call me anytime day or night and if you are in a situation where you need me to come and get you, I will be there.  I committed my life to you like I committed my life to your dad.  You will always be our daughter and we will always be family.



  1. Well said, Linda. Beautiful tribute to Calsey and the road she's walked. She is precious. Love you too, Calsey.

  2. My heart is right there with yours, Linda. I couldn't agree more. I know how much it hurts to be on the receiving end of that human judgement ... and there is no better truth than the fact that in Jesus' eyes, we are all on equal footing. Who are people to say anything at all?
    You are an amazing mom, a true parent ... letting nothing get in the way of your love and faithfulness to your daughter.