Thursday, September 29, 2011

My Son

My son ... 18 years ago today your biological mother brought you into this world.  You would not know for many years what kind of damage had been done to your brain and thus to your life before you were born.

My son ... 18 years ago you fought to enter a world that would not be kind to you because of the brain damage you suffered.

My son ... 18 years ago today Dad and I didn't even know each other.

My son ... 18 years ago today I had no idea that in 8 years we would be welcoming you into our home as our son.

My son ... 8 years ago you had been living in our home, your new home, for one month.

My son ... 8 years ago we had no idea that in 6 more years you would be moving out of our home and we would lose contact and parental rights forever.

My son ... It has been 3 years since you've lived with us, since we've been able to spend quality time with you.

My son ...  I'm sorry you weren't able to stay living with us.  We fought until there wasn't anything left to fight with.

My son ... I would give my life to make you whole.

My son ... I would sell everything I own to give back what was stolen from you -- your innocence, your sense of safety, love, the brain cells that were damaged by alcohol.

My son ... You will be my son forever, beyond the day you die.

My son ... Today you turn 18

My son ... today the world will see you as an adult, treat you as an adult, give you access to things that are adult and judge you as an adult.  It's your job to show them that since you are an adult, you're going to make positive adult choices instead of the negative adult choices that people are expecting from you.

My son ... Welcome to a new world:  adult.

My son ... I LOVE YOU!  I will never give up on you.  Please don't give up on yourself.

Romans 8:28-- And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

That means the mess that has been made of your life (by yourself and by others) is not out of God's realm of fixing.  If you give your life over to him completely, repenting of all your sins and putting yourself in God's and following his choices, he can make something good come from your life.  He will "repay you for the years the locusts have eaten--the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm--my great army that I sent among you."  Joel 2:25.

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